You make hundreds of decisions daily: whether to hit that snooze button, what to eat for breakfast, what to wear today, which emails you are going to ignore for now, whether to go for a walk at lunch, and the list goes on. You make many of those decisions without a second thought. But occasionally you hit a decision that makes you stop dead in your tracks. This decision seems bigger, more consequential, with more variables to consider than an algebra exam. Why do some decisions seem trivial while others appear to have the fate of the world hanging in the balance?
The Psychology of Indecision
At the root of indecision is usually a belief, or a set of beliefs, that constrain and confound you. These beliefs are not about the decision that you're making. Instead, they are beliefs about your decision-making process. Yup, we are about to get meta.
One belief that you might have when making a big decision is that you must avoid the negative consequences of a wrong decision. And you're probably very good at predicting all of those consequences. A career decision might prompt more questions than the job interview itself. What if I hate the job? What if the company culture sucks? What if the company tanks and I get laid off in six months? These non-stop thoughts lead to non-stop anxiety and non-stop procrastination. A previous post on this blog provides some tips that might help with such thoughts.
A second belief that you might hold about your decision-making is that the outcome has to be perfect. You tell yourself that you must work for the perfect company—a job at The Bank of Evil or LexCorp just won't cut it. The antidote to this is to accept that no decision is perfect, and few are permanent. Instead of striving to make the perfect decision, learn to tolerate uncertainty.
Now imagine that you're able to get your anxiety-induced thought loop under control. And you have learned to sip a bit of uncertainty now and then. Yet, you still find yourself swirling around a big decision. What do you do now?
Practical Tips For Making Big Decisions
Let's say that the choice before you is: should I choose a job that has higher earning potential or one that gives me more work-life balance? One approach to deciding involves a two-step process guided by your values:
List your values
Rank your values
List Your Values
Values are beliefs about what is important to you and gives meaning to your life. Clarify your values by writing them down, even if you have done so before. Continuing to rely on outdated values is like dressing for today based on yesterday's weather report. Be sure to include all of your values, not just the ones related to your current decision.
Rank Your Values
Next, you'll want to take one more step: rank your values in order of importance. And no copping out by giving some values equal rankings. When you make a decision, you will be making trade-offs. Ranking your values ensures that the trade-offs are in line with what is most important to you.
The table below provides an example of values that might be relevant to someone making a job decision. Note that some of the values are only indirectly related to the job choice itself.
Value | Why is it important? What does it represent? | Level of importance (1-10) |
Taking care of parents | I want to be able to pay for the best medical care for my aging parents. They sacrificed a lot for me. I want to show my gratitude in their time of need. | 1 |
Having a low-stress job | I have previously worked in high-stress jobs, and that left little time for me to enjoy life. | 2 |
Giving back | Many people helped me get where I am. I want to help others through volunteering. | 3 |
Travelling | I love seeing new places and learning about new cultures. | 4 |
Financial stability | While financial stability is important to me, I don't need a lot of money to take care of myself. | 5 |
When making the job choice presented above, the act of ranking makes it clear that a high-paying job helps you to live in line with your most important value, even though money ranked the lowest in your list of values.
And perhaps this value of taking care of your parents was not an issue 10 years ago when your parents were younger and healthier. This underscores the importance of periodically reviewing your values.
Conclusion
"Let your values guide you in decision-making" is more than just a phrase you'd expect to hear from a yoga instructor trying to teach you stress management. Focusing on your values is a practical way to make hard decisions. But what if you struggle with not just the big decisions, but the small daily ones too? If that's the case, a therapist might be able to help you identify other factors that could help make decision-making easier. And if committing to therapy seems like a hard decision to make, start with just 20 minutes for a consultation, no commitment, to see whether therapy is right for you.
References
Beck, J. S. (2020). Cognitive behavior therapy: Basics and beyond. Guilford Publications.
Schonberg, S. (n.d.). Should I do this or should I do that?: CBT for indecision. Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Retrieved October 22, 2025, from https://beckinstitute.org/blog/should-i-do-this-or-should-i-do-that-cbt-for-indecision/
