Practical Psychotherapy - Blog #valuesPractical Psychotherapy - Blog #valueshttps://practicalpsychotherapy.ca/articles/tag/valuesThu, 02 Apr 2026 08:42:28 -0400http://zoho.com/sites/<![CDATA[Fighting Indecision: How to Choose When No Choice is Perfect]]>https://practicalpsychotherapy.ca/articles/post/fighting-indecisionPractical tips for decision making.]]>



You make hundreds of decisions daily: whether to hit that snooze button, what to eat for breakfast, what to wear today, which emails you are going to ignore for now, whether to go for a walk at lunch, and the list goes on. You make many of those decisions without a second thought. But occasionally you hit a decision that makes you stop dead in your tracks. This decision seems bigger, more consequential, with more variables to consider than an algebra exam. Why do some decisions seem trivial while others appear to have the fate of the world hanging in the balance?

The Psychology of  Indecision

At the root of indecision is usually a belief, or a set of beliefs, that constrain and confound you. These beliefs are not about the decision that you're making. Instead, they are beliefs about your decision-making process. Yup, we are about to get meta. 

One belief that you might have when making a big decision is that you must avoid the negative consequences of a wrong decision. And you're probably very good at predicting all of those consequences. A career decision might prompt more questions than the job interview itself. What if I hate the job? What if the company culture sucks? What if the company tanks and I get laid off in six months? These non-stop thoughts lead to non-stop anxiety and non-stop procrastination. A previous post on this blog provides some tips that might help with such thoughts.

A second belief that you might hold about your decision-making is that the outcome has to be perfect. You tell yourself that you must work for the perfect company—a job at The Bank of Evil or LexCorp just won't cut it. The antidote to this is to accept that no decision is perfect, and few are permanent. Instead of striving to make the perfect decision, learn to tolerate uncertainty.

Now imagine that you're able to get your anxiety-induced thought loop under control. And you have learned to sip a bit of uncertainty now and then. Yet, you still find yourself swirling around a big decision. What do you do now?

Practical Tips  For Making Big Decisions

Let's say that the choice before you is: should I choose a job that has higher earning potential or one that gives me more work-life balance? One approach to deciding involves a two-step process guided by your values: 

  1. List your values

  2. Rank your values 

List Your Values

Values are beliefs about what is important to you and gives meaning to your life. Clarify your values by writing them down, even if you have done so before. Continuing to rely on outdated values is like dressing for today based on yesterday's weather report. Be sure to include all of your values, not just the ones related to your current decision.

Rank Your Values

Next, you'll want to take one more step: rank your values in order of importance. And no copping out by giving some values equal rankings. When you make a decision, you will be making trade-offs. Ranking your values ensures that the trade-offs are in line with what is most important to you. 

The table below provides an example of values that might be relevant to someone making a job decision. Note that some of the values are only indirectly related to the job choice itself.

 

Value

Why is it important? What does it represent?

Level of importance (1-10)

Taking care of parents

I want to be able to pay for the best medical care for my aging parents. They sacrificed a lot for me. I want to show my gratitude in their time of need.

1

Having a low-stress job

I have previously worked in high-stress jobs, and that left little time for me to enjoy life. 

2

Giving back

Many people helped me get where I am. I want to help others through volunteering.

3

Travelling

I love seeing new places and learning about new cultures.

4

Financial stability

While financial stability is important to me, I don't need a lot of money to take care of myself.

5


When making the job choice presented above, the act of ranking makes it clear that a high-paying job helps you to live in line with your most important value, even though money ranked the lowest in your list of values. 

And perhaps this value of taking care of your parents was not an issue 10 years ago when your parents were younger and healthier. This underscores the importance of periodically reviewing your values.

Conclusion

"Let your values guide you in decision-making" is more than just a phrase you'd expect to hear from a yoga instructor trying to teach you stress management. Focusing on your values is a practical way to make hard decisions. But what if you struggle with not just the big decisions, but the small daily ones too? If that's the case, a therapist might be able to help you identify other factors that could help make decision-making easier. And if committing to therapy seems like a hard decision to make, start with just 20 minutes for a consultation, no commitment, to see whether therapy is right for you.

References

Beck, J. S. (2020). Cognitive behavior therapy: Basics and beyond. Guilford Publications.

Schonberg, S. (n.d.). Should I do this or should I do that?: CBT for indecision. Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Retrieved October 22, 2025, from https://beckinstitute.org/blog/should-i-do-this-or-should-i-do-that-cbt-for-indecision/

SMART Recovery. (2015). SMART Recovery Facilitator’s Manual (2nd ed.). SMART Recovery USA Inc.

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]]>Tue, 17 Mar 2026 15:00:00 +0000<![CDATA[New Year, New You: Practical Tips for Goal Setting]]>https://practicalpsychotherapy.ca/articles/post/new-year-new-youPractical CBT Techniques for Setting and Achieving Goals]]>


A new year is upon us. This is the year that you’re finally going to start that project you’ve been thinking about. And you’re finally going to pay attention to your health, so your doctor can stop pestering you about your cholesterol. And you’re also going to take that class you’ve been meaning to. And this is the third year in a row you’ve made the same new year resolutions. Well, except for the class. That one’s been on the list for five years. So how do you prevent it from being there for a sixth year?

Practical Tips for Effective Goal Setting

Motivation is one factor to consider when trying to figure out why you don’t follow through on your resolutions. So how can you identify sources of motivation and keep the ball rolling? Here are three practical tips:

  • Identify your values.

  • Consider your aspirations. 

  • Break down your goal into manageable pieces. 

 

Identify your values

Values are beliefs about what gives meaning to and is important to your life. They can serve as a source of motivation, and not just for the new year! Values can power you throughout the year, and for many years to come. 

List your values and why they are important to you. Start by asking yourself the following questions: 

  1. What is most important to me in life? 

  2. Why is that value so important to me? 


Here are some areas where values may come from: 

  • Relationships (family, friends, intimate partners, co-workers, community members) 

  • Productivity (at work, school, home) 

  • Material assets 

  • Health (including habits related to exercise, eating, sleep, intake of alcohol or other substances) 

  • Self-improvement (in education, skills, culture, appearance, self-control, independence) 

  • Community (locally or more broadly) 

  • Spirituality 

  • Creativity 

  • Nature 

  • Hobbies and fun 


Try coming up with 5-10 values. Here are some examples:

  • Eating healthy: This is important to me because I want to remain in good health so that I can enjoy time with family and friends. 

  • Music: It provides a source of comfort, relaxation, and self-expression. 


Consider Your Aspirations

Aspirations are hopes or ambitions that we have for ourselves. A New Year’s resolution is a kind of aspiration. Paying attention to your aspirations can help you to achieve a sense of purpose. But aspirations can be equally frustrating when you're unable to achieve them. 

One way to build motivation to work toward your aspirations is by linking them to your values. Review your list of values. For each value, ask yourself one or more of the following questions:

  • What do I want for my life? 

  • What are my hopes for the future? 

  • What do I want my future to look like? 

Here are some example aspirations based on the values listed in the previous section:

  • I see myself 10 years from now with a healthy weight and in good physical health. I am able to keep up with the kids. 

  • I want a future in which I can release stress and anxiety by playing my favourite song on a musical instrument. 


Break Down Your Goal Into Manageable Pieces

Now that you have some aspirations for the new year, it’s time to make sure that they don't end up like that bit of leftover turkey you forgot was in the back of the fridge. Breaking down the aspirations into smaller steps can help make them more manageable. You know what else is pretty big? A year! So let’s break that down too. 

Author Cal Newport advocates for using quarterly planning as a personal productivity tool. Let’s see if we can apply quarterly planning to your aspirations. Take each of your aspirations and break it down into four steps. Then assign each step to a quarter of the year (January-March, April-June, and so on). This can help you turn a big, long-term goal into an achievable, time-bound goal. It also helps increase the likelihood of achieving your desired outcome.

Here is an example of the aspiration to play an instrument, broken down into quarters:

  • January-March: Identify and enrol in a music class.

  • April-June: Save up to buy my own instrument so that I can practice outside of class.

  • July-September: Spend at least one hour per week practising my technique.

  • October-December: Focus on practising my favourite song.


I created a custom worksheet to help my clients identify what's most important to them. Request the Values, Aspirations, and Goals worksheet here.

Conclusion

Reflecting on what is important can motivate you to put in hard work and help you focus on building the future that you desire in the long term. But sometimes, despite your best efforts, you find yourself stuck in the same patterns. In that case, it might be helpful to call for backup. Book a free consultation today to find out if therapy can help you to establish new patterns that are in line with your values and aspirations. 

References 

Beck, A. T. (2021, June 8). Motivation. Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy. https://beckinstitute.org/blog/motivation/

Newport, C. (2022, January 23). Why quarterly planning instead of monthly or annual? [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8L9WBJWG94c

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